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Armageddon
(1998)
Nothing on Earth can prepare you
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Stars: Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Will Patton
Director: Michael Bay
Writer: Robert Roy Pool, Jonathan Hensleigh
Language: English
Studio: Touchstone Home Video
Duration: 144
Rated: 12 years and older
DVD Release: September 2010

The latest testosterone-saturated blow-'em-up from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys) continues Hollywood's millennium-fueled fascination with the destruction of our planet. There's no arguing that the successful duo understands what mainstream American audiences want in their blockbuster movies--loads of loud, eye-popping special effects, rapid- fire pacing, and patriotic flag waving. Bay's protagonists--the eight crude, lewd, oversexed (but lovable, of course) oil drillers summoned to save the world from a Texas-sized meteor hurling toward the earth--are not flawless heroes, but common men with whom all can relate. In this huge Western-in-space soap opera, they're American cowboys turned astronauts. Sci-fi buffs will appreciate Bay's fetishizing of technology, even though it's apparent he doesn't understand it as anything more than flashing lights and shiny gadgets. Smartly, the duo also tries to lure the art-house crowd, raiding the local indie acting stable and populating the film with guys like Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob Thornton, Owen Wilson, and Michael Duncan, all adding needed touches of humor and charisma. When Bay applies his sledgehammer aesthetics to the action portions of the film, it's mindless fun; it's only when Armageddon tackles humanity that it becomes truly offensive. Not since Mississippi Burning have racial and cultural stereotypes been substituted for characters so blatantly--African Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Scottish, Samoans, Muslims, French ... if it's not white and American, Bay simplifies it. Or, make that white male America; the film features only three notable females--four if you count the meteor, who's constantly referred to as a "bitch that needs drillin'," but she's a hell of a lot more developed and unpredictable than the other women characters combined. Sure, Bay's film creates some tension and contains some visceral moments, but if he can't create any redeemable characters outside of those in space, what's the point of saving the planet? --Dave McCoy


Bruce WillisHarry S. Stamper
Billy Bob ThorntonDan Truman, NASA Administrator
Ben AffleckA.J. Frost
Liv TylerGrace Stamper
Will PattonCharles 'Chick' Chapple
Steve BuscemiRockhound
William FichtnerColonel William Sharp, Shuttle Freedom Pilot
Owen WilsonOscar Choi, Geologist
Michael Clarke DuncanJayotis 'Bear' Kurleenbear
Peter StormareLev Andropov, Russian Cosmonaut
Ken Hudson CampbellMax Lennert (as Ken Campbell)
Jessica SteenJennifer Watts, Shuttle Freedom Co-Pilot
Keith DavidLt. General Kimsey
Chris EllisWalter Clark
Jason IsaacsDr. Ronald Quincy, Research
Grayson McCouchGruber
Clark Heathcliffe BrollyNoonan (as Clark Brolly)
Marshall R. TeagueColonel Davis
Anthony GuideraCo-Pilot Tucker
Greg CollinsHalsey
J. Patrick McCormackGeneral Boffer
Ian QuinnAstronaut Pete Shelby
Christopher J. WorretOperator #1
Adam SmithOperator #2 (as Adam C. Smith)
John MahonKarl
Grace ZabriskieDottie
K.C. LeomitiSamoan
Eddie GriffinBike Messenger
Deborah NishimuraClient #1
Albert WongClient #2
Jim IshidaClient #3
Stanley AndersonPresident
James HarperAdmiral Kelso
Ellen CleghorneHelga the Nurse
Udo KierPsychologist
John AylwardDr. Banks
Mark CurryStu the Cabbie
Seiko MatsudaAsian Tourist - Female
Harry HumphriesChuck Jr.
Dyllan ChristopherTommy
Judith HoagDenise
Sage AllenMax's Mom
Steven FordNuke Tech
Christian ClemensonDroning Guy
Andy RyanGreenpeace Guy
Duke ValentiRoughneck #1
Michael TaliferroRoughneck #2 (as Michael 'Bear' Taliferro)
Billy DevlinRoughneck #3
Kathleen MatthewsNewscaster #2
J.C. HaywardNewscaster #3
Andrew GlassmanNewscaster #4
Shawnee SmithRedhead
Dwight HicksFBI Agent #1
Odile CorsoGeo Tech #1 (as Odile Broulard)
Vic ManniLoanshark
Jim ManiaciBiker Customer
Layla RobertsMolly Mounds
Joe AllenKennedy Launch
Bodhi ElfmanMath Guy
Alexander JohnsonNewscaster
Kathy NeffReporter #1
Victor VinsonSector Director
Joseph Patrick KellyMarine #1
Peter WhiteSecretary of Defense
Rudy MettiaG-Man
Frank Van KeekenNASA Planner #1 (as Frank van Keekan)
Frederick WellerNASA Techs
Jeff AustinNASA Techs
Googy GressNASA Techs
Matt MalloyNASA Techs
H. Richard GreeneNASA Techs
Brian BrophyNASA Techs
Peter MurnikNASA Techs
Brian Hayes CurrieNASA Techs
Andrew HecklerNASA Techs
Andy MilderNASA Techs
Michael KaplanNASA Techs
Patrick RichwoodDr. Nerd
Brian MulliganDr. Nerd
John H. JohnsonPad Director
Charles StewartVacuum Chamber Tech
Scarlet ForgeYoung Grace
Michael TuckAmerican Newscaster
Patrick LanderBritish Newscaster
Anne VarèzeFrench Newscaster (as Anne Vareze)
Fritz MashimoJapanese Newscaser
Dina MorroneItalian Newscaster
Ruben OlagueSpanish Newscaster (as Ruben O'Lague)
Wolfgang MuserGerman Newscaster
Jim FitzpatrickNORAD Technician (as James Fitzpatrick)
FrankyDog / Little Richard
Charlton HestonNarration (voice)
Jonathan AldridgeNASA Tech
Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Media: DVD
Sound: Dolby Digital 5.1
IMDb: 0120591