










The latest testosterone-saturated blow-'em-up from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys) continues Hollywood's millennium-fueled fascination with the destruction of our planet. There's no arguing that the successful duo understands what mainstream American audiences want in their blockbuster movies--loads of loud, eye-popping special effects, rapid- fire pacing, and patriotic flag waving. Bay's protagonists--the eight crude, lewd, oversexed (but lovable, of course) oil drillers summoned to save the world from a Texas-sized meteor hurling toward the earth--are not flawless heroes, but common men with whom all can relate. In this huge Western-in-space soap opera, they're American cowboys turned astronauts. Sci-fi buffs will appreciate Bay's fetishizing of technology, even though it's apparent he doesn't understand it as anything more than flashing lights and shiny gadgets. Smartly, the duo also tries to lure the art-house crowd, raiding the local indie acting stable and populating the film with guys like Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob Thornton, Owen Wilson, and Michael Duncan, all adding needed touches of humor and charisma. When Bay applies his sledgehammer aesthetics to the action portions of the film, it's mindless fun; it's only when Armageddon tackles humanity that it becomes truly offensive. Not since Mississippi Burning have racial and cultural stereotypes been substituted for characters so blatantly--African Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Scottish, Samoans, Muslims, French ... if it's not white and American, Bay simplifies it. Or, make that white male America; the film features only three notable females--four if you count the meteor, who's constantly referred to as a "bitch that needs drillin'," but she's a hell of a lot more developed and unpredictable than the other women characters combined. Sure, Bay's film creates some tension and contains some visceral moments, but if he can't create any redeemable characters outside of those in space, what's the point of saving the planet? --Dave McCoy
Bruce Willis | Harry S. Stamper |
Billy Bob Thornton | Dan Truman, NASA Administrator |
Ben Affleck | A.J. Frost |
Liv Tyler | Grace Stamper |
Will Patton | Charles 'Chick' Chapple |
Steve Buscemi | Rockhound |
William Fichtner | Colonel William Sharp, Shuttle Freedom Pilot |
Owen Wilson | Oscar Choi, Geologist |
Michael Clarke Duncan | Jayotis 'Bear' Kurleenbear |
Peter Stormare | Lev Andropov, Russian Cosmonaut |
Ken Hudson Campbell | Max Lennert (as Ken Campbell) |
Jessica Steen | Jennifer Watts, Shuttle Freedom Co-Pilot |
Keith David | Lt. General Kimsey |
Chris Ellis | Walter Clark |
Jason Isaacs | Dr. Ronald Quincy, Research |
Grayson McCouch | Gruber |
Clark Heathcliffe Brolly | Noonan (as Clark Brolly) |
Marshall R. Teague | Colonel Davis |
Anthony Guidera | Co-Pilot Tucker |
Greg Collins | Halsey |
J. Patrick McCormack | General Boffer |
Ian Quinn | Astronaut Pete Shelby |
Christopher J. Worret | Operator #1 |
Adam Smith | Operator #2 (as Adam C. Smith) |
John Mahon | Karl |
Grace Zabriskie | Dottie |
K.C. Leomiti | Samoan |
Eddie Griffin | Bike Messenger |
Deborah Nishimura | Client #1 |
Albert Wong | Client #2 |
Jim Ishida | Client #3 |
Stanley Anderson | President |
James Harper | Admiral Kelso |
Ellen Cleghorne | Helga the Nurse |
Udo Kier | Psychologist |
John Aylward | Dr. Banks |
Mark Curry | Stu the Cabbie |
Seiko Matsuda | Asian Tourist - Female |
Harry Humphries | Chuck Jr. |
Dyllan Christopher | Tommy |
Judith Hoag | Denise |
Sage Allen | Max's Mom |
Steven Ford | Nuke Tech |
Christian Clemenson | Droning Guy |
Andy Ryan | Greenpeace Guy |
Duke Valenti | Roughneck #1 |
Michael Taliferro | Roughneck #2 (as Michael 'Bear' Taliferro) |
Billy Devlin | Roughneck #3 |
Kathleen Matthews | Newscaster #2 |
J.C. Hayward | Newscaster #3 |
Andrew Glassman | Newscaster #4 |
Shawnee Smith | Redhead |
Dwight Hicks | FBI Agent #1 |
Odile Corso | Geo Tech #1 (as Odile Broulard) |
Vic Manni | Loanshark |
Jim Maniaci | Biker Customer |
Layla Roberts | Molly Mounds |
Joe Allen | Kennedy Launch |
Bodhi Elfman | Math Guy |
Alexander Johnson | Newscaster |
Kathy Neff | Reporter #1 |
Victor Vinson | Sector Director |
Joseph Patrick Kelly | Marine #1 |
Peter White | Secretary of Defense |
Rudy Mettia | G-Man |
Frank Van Keeken | NASA Planner #1 (as Frank van Keekan) |
Frederick Weller | NASA Techs |
Jeff Austin | NASA Techs |
Googy Gress | NASA Techs |
Matt Malloy | NASA Techs |
H. Richard Greene | NASA Techs |
Brian Brophy | NASA Techs |
Peter Murnik | NASA Techs |
Brian Hayes Currie | NASA Techs |
Andrew Heckler | NASA Techs |
Andy Milder | NASA Techs |
Michael Kaplan | NASA Techs |
Patrick Richwood | Dr. Nerd |
Brian Mulligan | Dr. Nerd |
John H. Johnson | Pad Director |
Charles Stewart | Vacuum Chamber Tech |
Scarlet Forge | Young Grace |
Michael Tuck | American Newscaster |
Patrick Lander | British Newscaster |
Anne Varèze | French Newscaster (as Anne Vareze) |
Fritz Mashimo | Japanese Newscaser |
Dina Morrone | Italian Newscaster |
Ruben Olague | Spanish Newscaster (as Ruben O'Lague) |
Wolfgang Muser | German Newscaster |
Jim Fitzpatrick | NORAD Technician (as James Fitzpatrick) |
Franky | Dog / Little Richard |
Charlton Heston | Narration (voice) |
Jonathan Aldridge | NASA Tech |