Meet Larry. He's just turned 40, and he's still single. If you can get past the glow of his Grecian formula, you can see his hairline beginning to make a hasty retreat from his forehead. Larry's leisure suit is of the highest quality (100% manmade material, permanent press, too!) He wars at least 11 gold chains and his freshly-capped teeth could blind you in a bright light!

Down at the singles bar he tells the chicks, "Sure, I'm single... I got in a fight with my ol' lady and she threw me out." He doesn't tell them the "ol' lady" was his mom, or that he was 38 at the time!